watching local news, waiting for dinner

I had every intention of posting more frequently this week. Obviously, my intentions don't always translate directly into immediate action. The story of my life. I'll try to give more updates in the future even though I'm sadly leaving out very little of my weekly actions in the blog.

Here's something new: I have plans for working for the David LaGrand for state senate campaign. Forcing myself to get out and do something should be good for me. I hope this will help alleviate some of my social anxiety and self-loathing spiral as of late.

I went to the sand bar thursday night. Stayed in a watched the aristocrats and tonight I'll go out with nick and peter. That's it: categorizing my free time into fleetable moments. I wish I had something quick and witty to say, perhaps I'll come up with something later.

thursday with my own personal "easy jesus"

Last night saw my "triumphant" return to pool night. I don't kid myself anymore, I put in my five bucks knowing full-well I will never see it again. And I performed exactly to my expectations - O-2.

I've had trouble sleeping lately. I haven't told anyone why because it's somewhat embarassing. So watch while take the logical step and post it on the internet for all the world to see. Well, here it is: Politics. That's right, I lay awake every night (regardless of my alcohol intake) thinking about Alito, assisted suicide in oregon, the death penalty, globalization, church and state, the sex offender registry, etc.. It is an onslaught of national problems that have kept me awake this week. I believe part of the reason for my problem is that I'm surrounded by unquestioning evangelicals each weekday. But, I've studied enough psychology to know that this recent dilemma may be from the fact that I worry naturally and perhaps I'm choosing not to worry about my current situation and am therefore displacing my troubles on national events. I just have to get my head to slow down.

I don't have much else to say. My progression of events has slowed to a snail's pace now that I'm out of school. I try to seek something new every day but it's just not as easy while not being taught for four hours a day. Perhaps I will seek out crying in the shower as something new this week. We'll see how it goes and I'll get back to you. I'm open to suggestions on new things to do/hold my attention. Anyone?

100th post

feeling better today:

sun is shining
illness alleviating
in the midst of a long weekend

I've spent too much time in this apartment as of late. Last night i watched "la nina santa" and I hated it. I'm usually pretty good with film but this one made very little sense and it may have been the longest hour and forty five minutes outside of the office I've endured in quite a while. I also got "absolutely fabulous: seasons 1-3" from the library but I'm not sure I can get into it. xtina is out running errands.

I don't have any plans tonight but I'd like to get out of this apartment. Perhaps you should give me a call if you are in the greater grand rapids area.

insert clever title here;

or, put your penis between the mattress and box-spring and have at it.

another average week. i drank a little more than usual but outside of that, and my thursday morning hangover, nothing special. It has been good seeing becky around.

Week after week of anticipation. Anticipating my own actions like I have no bearing on them. Fleeting moments, stagnant action.