Friday, February 24, 2006

a little more than nothing

I'm still not up to much. I'm still working pseudo-full-time. That Belle and Sebastian album turned out to be amazing. I'm also getting into Jenny Lewis. I didn't finally finish the geography of nowhere but I'm working on it. I don't have any plans for tonight but I hope to do something.

Last weekend was great. Christina and I actually did something out of the usual and it made the week seem complete and refreshing for a change. Friday we went out for dinner and saturday we went to the state democratic convention in beautiful downtown lansing, followed by good dinner/conversation with friends. The convention went just as expected, except I would have liked at least one of my photos to turn out in the dimly-lit conference center.

I've been feeling better these days. Despite the weather getting colder instead of warmer. I'm deciding not to worry so much about details - details that once restricted every attempt I made to create motion. Maybe I feel better because xtina has been too.

Has anyone else seen this? It is one of the worst things I've seen online in a while. Am I the only one that believes this to be a total violation of basic human rights?

Friday, February 17, 2006

google chat: thoughts?

I'm conflicted as to how I feel about google chat. It's convenient and fun (although not very innovative) and it gives me something to do while I stare at my computer screen all day. It does, however, pose a dangerous threat to workplace productivity. I get the feeling that google is slowly edging it's way into every market until it ownes me. google presents: kevdek. However, when they get into a market they normally make a superior product. examples: google search engine, google maps, gmail.

I watched "I am trying to break your heart" with metal last night. It's nice to talk with Metal about wilco. Not once did I bring up how he used to make fun of all of us for liking them. I'm a good person. No, a great person.

Tomorrow I'm going to the state democratic convention in beautiful Lansing. It was three years ago this week when I was last in Lansing: it was equally cold and I was marching down the streets against the war with millions of other likeminded individuals around the world. The largest protest movement in global history. And look how much good it did. god bless the usa.

Friday, February 10, 2006

glowing box = my childhood memories

I brought home "the adventures of pete and pete: the complete first season" from my local library. What does it mean when it's a television program that gives me the most satisfying feeling of childhood nostalgia I've been able to feel? Is that bad? When I was growing up, it occurs to me now, that it wasn't out of the ordinary for me to watch television for eight hours in a day. Growing up in the suburbs, there wasn't much else to do. Think of what I could have become if I spent that time reading or doing science experiments or playing an instrument? Aside from how sad it is that my most vibrant childhood memory comes in the form of me laying across a green armchair watching my family's silver quasar television, Pete and Pete is the greatest childrens television program ever. Much of the music comes from the band "the magnetic fields" and the show features cameos from the likes of Michael Stipe and Steve Buschemi. And, lets face it, I'm a sucker for narrative-style programs. The season was initially aired in 1993 making me about ten years old at it's time of air. They certainly don't make childrens television like that anymore. Perhaps Gen-Xers are just more creative and thoughful than those that make television programs now.

On another note, I just picked up the new Belle & Sebastian album, "the life pursuit." It's fantastic, their best album since "the boy with the arab strap." You should check it out, it's defintely worth buying if you have the cash at hand.

I don't have any plans tonight. Xtina and I might go to bombay cuisine or brandywine. Has anyone been to that new mexican restaurant in eastown? you know, the one on Carlton. So if any of you are doing something interesting, give me a call. Perhaps you would like to share your favorite memory of Pete and Pete.

Monday, February 06, 2006

promise fulfilled

I'm back, and posting on a weekday. I had a good weekend, had a good conversation at an establishment in saugatuck, although it took me almost an hour to get back home because of the weather.

This week I will:
Keep my mind on my work to pass time faster
Not be trapped in self-loathing
Finally try to finish The Geography of Nowhere
Put more time into the political campaign in which I'm working
Finish AbFab season 5
See more people
Get the new Belle and Sabastian album
Get the new Beth Orton album
Not be such a "little bitch"

Friday, February 03, 2006

computers are logical; I am not

Personal progress is always assumed. Why, then, does it seem as though I'm regressing? When I was a younger man I had the ability of confidence and opportunity. The only conclusion I've come to in post collegiate self-discovery is my own fragility. Some days I'm convinced that I can do nothing without another entity directly telling me to do so. How high, sir? Some days all I can focus on is the passage of time. Seconds pass at the same rate regardless if all I'm able to do is debate sitting vs. standing or I'm flying at the sun. I am paralyzed by my own fragility. 1's and 0's can't explain how I feel today. I used to accept and process ceaseless information careening in my direction; now I have to create the illusion of such a whirlwind. And how do I return to a situation long past by my own anxiety-driven movements? I am the acquaintence of myself to which I look at my watch explain I'm late for a meeting. And bitching about it only discredits me further. Some day I will feel "comfortable" again. Buzzing of my alarm, hot shower-cold shower, coffee in the pot - I can segmentize, compartmentalize, but I cannot create something new and feel sealed or tightened. I am not a self-made success, but I'm doing all I can to ruin my chances.