anniversary excursion

On Monday Xtina and I decided we should visit GR - thirty minutes later we were on the road. She had tuesday and wednesday off for our anniversary: two years as of yesterday - what more romantic and exotic locale than my parents house in west michigan! And while it was our most spontaneous trip to GR, it was one of the most fulfilling. Plans came together and we were able to see Peter in his natural environment, as well as Jason and Sarah. Nick - I hope you're feeling better, Jason had told us you didn't look so good.

I've decided that I have to make some work of getting back to school - I'm giving some serious consideration to library science (a field I was planning on going into before this terrible move interrupted my life as it has). I'll be honest - I'm pretty lost, I haven't a clue what I'm doing. I'm sure it's been easy to see from the outside but now that I've come to the realization I can take a job at whole foods or something and work on getting my life together.

I have an interview with a large employee benefits corporation next week. I'm not sure it's what I want so I decided to be honest in the phone interview. I said I'm not a 'suit and tie' person and that I don't work terribly fast during the phone interview and they scheduled a face-to-face anyway. I'll check it out. The pay isn't great. I've also applied to Northwestern's library and the Chicago public library - even if I get either position it will take them months to hire me.

...and shove it

Well, so much for that idea. Yesterday I quit my job. And yes, I'm disappointed that it didn't work out, but not disappointed that I won't be returning to that office again. I'd prefer not to get into details regarding my terms of departure, but I will say that it became appearant already on the second day that I didn't want to be with the organization and it became clear to them they didn't want me there. In fact, they said some things to me that I'm having a hard time shaking. I think every young 21st century male wants to believe that passing words won't effect him, but I'll admit that I tend to take things personally.

The point is: I've got to figure something out because this clearly isn't working.

I don't want to do this temp-agency bs again. I think I'm going to apply for whole foods and come up with a more dynamic plan. Perhaps I need to be back in school.

smokestacks and skyscrapers

I started the new job this week. I went immediately from working at the MS Society on Monday to the non-profit consulting firm Tuesday. And while I don't want to entirely devulge how I feel the new position is going, I can say I have mixed feelings. Perhaps it's the first week, perhaps it's my place in life, but I'm not completely convinced. Maybe I built it up as the job that I would be ecstatic to start each morning - to lift me out of boredom and make sense of my life. I'm considering alternative ways to be honest about it. I guess what I'm most disappointed about is the fact that nothing can just be okay - I'm sure it's just as much me as it is the job climate. I understand that it seems at times that I complain about everything, but I don't write here to paint a rosey picture of how things are going - I can do that with relatives without this aid. I think increasingly I'm more confused about what I want to do with my life in general and each new thing I start I want it to resolve that feeling while I know that's simply not possible.

I've become increasingly frustrated with the city. Chicago is a playground for the wealthy and a metal trap for the down-and-out. I realized last week that assuming safety, I would rather live among relative poverty that relative wealth. I'm tired of wealthy people in my neighborhood raising their noses as I pass, doing everything in their power to avoid eye contact. I'm sick of people who feel the world owes them something - those who live in luxury with no consideration for those around them and how they effect their immediate surroundings. Also, I don't like being made to feel small and subsequently being forced to feel large. I'm beginning to see the appeal in a life of isolation in the country.

I purchased the new 'Feist' album this week. I'm surprised by the disagreement among critics. Pitchfork gave it an 8.8, all songs considered called it the best music of her career, while the guys at 'sound opinions' had very little good to say about it. I think it's good - I feel more could have been done to make it a better album - amplify it's positive traits. I still like 'let it die' better. Recently I've also purchased an 'antony and the johnsons' album and I'm planning on purchasing the new wilco and rufus wainwright discs upon their release.