After what I considered a much-awaited weekend I find myself not rested, but awaiting the next long weekend; promising myself, as I have time and time again, that I will make something of the time I have. My Christmas weekend shouldn't be too busy and perhaps I will rest, but how do I view/define rest? And what is doing "something?" I suppose I should discover what "something" is.
I'm feeling more alienated at the office with each passing 8 hour unit. The chaplin sent an email on how he would not be politcally correct but instead wish twice as many individuals a "merry christmas." Today I received a book "101 ways to enjoy god." How does one "enjoy "god?"" The book is filled with suggestions from listening to music to lighting a candle to raising your hands." Aren't they suggestions on enjoying one's self in relaxation? it's all in your head.
Yesterday was family christmas. We sat around the table of compromised vegetarian food and engaged in the time-honored tradition of bitter resentment and half-handed comments to undermine each others confidence and remind us why we don't do this more often. We keep our mouths shut and anger subdued when gifts are exchanged.
With each passing week I become inches more removed from what I love - as well as my ambition and promise of contentment. I see myself and those around me all waiting for our next respective moves. I remember in speaking to a man in his forties who was in the same situation. And my thoughts turn to him again as another one of my college friends moves away. Somehow I know I'll be the last one in town.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment