annual aching for more

Today is my day off - and a perfect afternoon to listen to Tom Waits' Closing Time in my underwear. I'm not sure how the rest of the day will pan out, but I want to get some more reading done, watch a movie so I can get something else from netflix, wash the dishes, look at stuff online and perhaps go for a short ride if it isn't too windy. Then again, I have tomorrow off too so I'll probably put everything aside for tomorrow. Work is the same, the weather is changing and with it my annual aching for more.

Sunday Xtina and I biked to the Chicago Green Festival. The green festival is essentially a 'green business' trade expo with exhibitors and speakers. We weren't able to catch Amy Goodman on Saturday but we did see former Nader runningmate Winona LaDuke.

I was nervous about going. I'm grateful to christina for essentially holding my hand through it. You see, events like this typically give me mixed feelings. On one hand a feeling of hope that there are organizations out there fueled by my uncompromising values and on the other hand feelings of jealous rage that I'm not or in some cases, been kept from, being a part of them. I had overwhelmingly positive feelings Sunday, though. I met some interesting people with interesting visions and goals, ate some good vegetarian cuisine - both field roast gyros and catered Soul Vegetarian East - and drank some local mead and great lakes beer. I was delighted to see my place of employment portrayed in a glowingly positive light again - I needed that. It makes me feel good about not taking the corporate jobs I turned down when on many days I tend to curse my values and ideas for bringing me to my level of labor.

I spoke to representatives from a few schools offering 'green MBA' programs. I certainly hadn't considered an MBA in many years and I don't necessarily want to go back to school but at some point I may have to realize I can't get a career/lifestyle I want without one - judging from my own experience that is. After doing some research it became clear that the programs I'm most attracted to are by far the least legitimate and the ones I'm most repelled by - the 'traditional' mba - the opposite. It's no question that I learn better in a nurturing, collaborative environment that a cutthroat, competitive one. To be honest, I can't research consecutively for long amounts of time because the whole thing makes me so nervous.