smokestacks and skyscrapers

I started the new job this week. I went immediately from working at the MS Society on Monday to the non-profit consulting firm Tuesday. And while I don't want to entirely devulge how I feel the new position is going, I can say I have mixed feelings. Perhaps it's the first week, perhaps it's my place in life, but I'm not completely convinced. Maybe I built it up as the job that I would be ecstatic to start each morning - to lift me out of boredom and make sense of my life. I'm considering alternative ways to be honest about it. I guess what I'm most disappointed about is the fact that nothing can just be okay - I'm sure it's just as much me as it is the job climate. I understand that it seems at times that I complain about everything, but I don't write here to paint a rosey picture of how things are going - I can do that with relatives without this aid. I think increasingly I'm more confused about what I want to do with my life in general and each new thing I start I want it to resolve that feeling while I know that's simply not possible.

I've become increasingly frustrated with the city. Chicago is a playground for the wealthy and a metal trap for the down-and-out. I realized last week that assuming safety, I would rather live among relative poverty that relative wealth. I'm tired of wealthy people in my neighborhood raising their noses as I pass, doing everything in their power to avoid eye contact. I'm sick of people who feel the world owes them something - those who live in luxury with no consideration for those around them and how they effect their immediate surroundings. Also, I don't like being made to feel small and subsequently being forced to feel large. I'm beginning to see the appeal in a life of isolation in the country.

I purchased the new 'Feist' album this week. I'm surprised by the disagreement among critics. Pitchfork gave it an 8.8, all songs considered called it the best music of her career, while the guys at 'sound opinions' had very little good to say about it. I think it's good - I feel more could have been done to make it a better album - amplify it's positive traits. I still like 'let it die' better. Recently I've also purchased an 'antony and the johnsons' album and I'm planning on purchasing the new wilco and rufus wainwright discs upon their release.