on the last day of your life, don't forget to die

another lazy sunday. I hear Zach is in town; I hope he calls. I woke up and watched the pbs fund drive, watching old footage of jim morrison and janis joplin until x-tina came back from church. I wonder if she visualizes me just as I am as she sits in the pews. I can only imagine. I also wonder how often she has to fend for me in church politics. "i'm sorry, I just can't," I'll say when I inevitably must say it (or maybe that's what she'll say and I won't have to say it at all). I did dishes and gathered the laundry so it didn't look like watched tv in my underwear all morning. I'm trying not to think of going back to work. I have a meeting as soon as I saunter in that I know will change how I work and probably not for the better.

i smell burritos cooking in the kitchen.

Last night we saw "mysterious skin." It was good, possibly the most disturbing movie I've seen. It appears as though every indie film I see nowadays has to do with pedophelia for one reason or another (and "no" I'm not naturally going to films because they deal with such issues). Art is constantly searching for the next taboo. Pedophelia is the first taboo of the 21st century.

An update on my lame subconscious:
The other night I was at a fabric convention and they were giving out samples. x-tina told me to get light green. When they gave me dark green I was furious and through a series of crafty manuvers I was able to obtain the light green cloth.

My initial reactions to Sufjan Stevens' "Illinois"
a) it sounds similar to "Michigan" in a slightly different way, perhaps in the same way that Illinois is subtly different from Michigan.

b) If i didn't like sufjan stevens i could write it off as hokey that he sings about a state and it's history.

c) like "michigan," I like it but I will have reservations about becoming too attached to it that I can't exactly explain.